OBITUARY: MARILYN R. DEAK

Marilyn Radinsky Deak, born January 27, 1940, died on June 18, 2021, in San Diego, California, at the age of 81. Born on Staten Island, New York, to Jack Radinsky and Freda Groskin Radinsky, she was the younger sister to Leonard Radinsky. She leaves behind her beloved husband of 60 years, Gedeon I. Deak, her children, Phoebe Leslie Deak, Gedeon O. Deak, his wife Leah Welch, their children Nicholas Deak, Max Deak, and Gabriel Deak, and Darius K. Deak, his wife Lan Deak, and their children, Gedeon K. Deak, and Sophia Deak.

Marilyn Deak was the prototype for the modern American woman. Growing up in an age in which women were funneled into narrow career-paths that lead to marriage, home-making, and child-rearing, Marilyn quietly rebelled. She rejected the limited college education her traditional father believed appropriate for a girl who would only become a wife and mother. Instead, Marilyn leveraged her stellar high school scholarship to win her mother's support, who then helped convince her father that she deserved no less than her brother, which was a Cornell University education. Marilyn thrived at Cornell's School of Home Economics, earning not just her degree with honors in 1960, but also such high regard from her professors that they recommended her to continue her studies at Harvard University's Graduate School of Education, an opportunity she eagerly accepted. In the end, that decision changed her life; not only did she receive her masters from Harvard in 1961, but she also met the love of her life, Gedeon Deak, who was in Boston finishing his doctorate at M.I.T.

One could argue that Marilyn was lucky to have a husband in Gedeon who supported her finishing her education before starting a family, as she received her PhD in psychology from the State University of New York at Buffalo in 1966 before having her first child. However, such a notion denigrates Marilyn's innate drive and acuity, as well as the close partnership they forged in their marriage. She recognized Gedeon's support as she began working towards her doctorate at the University of Chicago while he moved to Buffalo to start his engineering career. Their separation proved his commitment to her, and her's to him, making her transfer from Chicago to SUNY Buffalo a small sacrifice to begin their life together.

Marilyn deftly balanced her career as a clinical psychologist with raising her children. As Gedeon's career took them from Buffalo, to Richmond, Virginia, Lawrence, Kansas, and then Wilmington, Delaware, she built a practice in each location. Marilyn loved children and was fascinated by them, their thoughts and feelings, leading her to specialize in child and family psychology. Taking cues from her practice, Marilyn gave her children the space and independence to develop their own ideas and interests; her restrained guidance always kept them on their own paths, never diverting them in directions that she might prefer or have chosen for herself. Her gift as a mother was to enable each of her children to recognize their own talents and provide them means to develop those talents into successful and fulfilling careers.

Marilyn pursued a myriad of hobbies while working and raising children. She began weaving when she lived in Lawrence and became sufficiently proficient so that, when she moved to Wilmington, she started selling her textiles at local arts and crafts shows. She wrote poetry throughout her life and dabbled in painting and creating collages. She loved music and learned to play piano as a child, but her favorite instrument was the hammered dulcimer, which she

mastered while living in Wilmington.

Marilyn's achievements did not end when she retire and moved to San Diego, California in 2001. She was diagnosed with heart disease in the late 1990s, eventually undergoing numerous procedures to insert coronary stents. She became active in the Women Heart organization and, in 2005, founded the Heart Scarf Project. The Heart Scarf Project involved knitting red scarves and giving them to women hospitalized with heart disease to combat the fear and isolation that Marilyn had experienced. She started small, gathering friends to help knit scarves and distributing them in San Diego, but she convinced the Women Heart organization to expand it nation-wide. Through Marilyn's tireless stewardship, the Heart Scarf Project has become one of the core components of Women Heart's mission. Her legacy will continue bringing comfort and consolation to women suffering heart disease.

The funeral for Marilyn Deak will be held on June 23, 2021, at Poway-Bernardo Mortuary in Poway, California.